Hey F@t a$s !!

I decided to use the title as how I'm feeling right now.

I know I'm overweight, but I don't look like I weigh in excess of 300lbs!

Seriously, next time you see someone who's about 6'2" tall or taller ask them how much they weigh.

You'll be surprised that most of them are going to be 200lbs+ heavy.

Right now, I feel like this because I'm retaining water. (No, I am NOT menstruating or cramping!)

Some might wonder WTF do I bother about water weight.  Well, it's uncomfortable and unnecessarily to retain.

It can also be the sign of heart or liver problems, or lots of other stuff.

Now, I know that my particular class of pain med can cause my colon to become as congested as the 405 freeway over Mulholland Drive during rush hour. (Or whenever someone thinks they've spotted Leonardo DiCaprio. (Sorry to drag you into a shit story Leo, but your name came to mind first of someone who might be spotted on/around the 405... that or Kiefer Sutherland back in the 90's doing litter pick up.))

I digress from the point.  I point is that constipation could be the cause of my current Edema, which means the root cause is my pain med.

Am I going to stop taking the pain meds?

No.

Am I going to slow down on their use?

Yes, as long as I can keep the pain from getting too bad.

 Pain that's too bad? Like what?

Like the kind of pain in your head that feels like your skull is starting to slowly crack open due to the pressure inside.

OR

Like the kind of pain in your hips and knees where some little gnome or gremlin has been pounding away at the bones involved in the joints.  So that every time you raise your leg(s), try walking, trying to lay still hurts so bad that you want to crumple up on the sidewalk and stay there until someone helps you home or you get hungry enough to drag your ass home for dinner.

Now that the pain levels are out there for the public, I might as well mention that this last week things have been very painful, but the past few days have been more frustrating to me.

So instead of taking my pills and taking half as I said to the doctor I would, I was taking them whole.  Now, don't think that "Oh my you'll kill yourself!", my body has grown accustom to my med, and I have actually taken up to 6 times the amount of a half pill over a year ago, with the doctor's blessing.

I don't think of myself as a addict, with the exception as I noted above, but now that I realize what I've been doing, I have stopped.  How many addicts out there can do that? I doubt any.  Very few addicts know that they have a problem, much less the self control to stop.

With the exception of pain, I can stop taking it for my frustrations...  This is where a writing down things like this BLOG come into help me.  It also means that by documenting it like this, I can relay this to the new shrink I started seeing.

I guess this ends this blog entry, as I suppose that I have a date with a glass of fiber laxative, and eventually the crapper.

Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

 - Red Green