I feel defeated with my efforts to keep writing here.

It feels like my communication/hold on the bipolar world has been completely severed.

Today, I woke up initially just fine, no headaches, nor major knee pain.

Gradually today, I got pain in the right side of my head and it's getting worse.

My oldest daughter is a bit of a disappointment to me right now.

I'm working, and she often pops in to see if I need anything, or to tell me what she's going to do.

It's distracting and irritating.

I wish that she would just get her ass out of bed and get moving...

Right now it's just after noon, and she hasn't dressed or left the house yet looking for work.

My youngest daughter got into trouble this morning so bad, that the big wooden spoon was brought out.

She's been sulking really badly recently, and it's been pissing Ellie and I both off really badly due to her bad respect towards us.  Especially towards Ellie.

In fact the punishment got so bad, she's been banned from watching TV/Movies/etc for 4 weeks.  Also she cannot read her books after being sent to bed.

I want to say, "Serves her right".. and it does, but I don't want to make it appear that I have cruel thoughts towards my children.

Currently, I'm in a meeting with our team, and I think after it's over I'm going to use some Oxygen to see if it'll help get rid of the headache, but it's not guaranteed... I might need to contact the doctor again... but I don't see that things will change much from where they are.

I'm down and possibly needing help... but no one can.

Last few days have been very hard.

Thursday, we had cold temps and snow... then Friday, we had a bit more snow, which then turned into Freezing Rain!

Friday night, around 8:00-9:00 PM, the power went out.

Several hours later, hell started to break loose.  The limbs from our big tree started to crack and fall off, hitting the house.

Luckily, as the limbs broke and fell on the house, they drooped over, touched the house, then broke and slid down the roof.  Mostly destroying gutters & fencing.

Saturday morning, a neighbor came over with his chain saw and helped to trim the limbs off the house, fence and natural gas meter.

Later on, Ellie wanted to go out and work on cleaning things up and especially use the chain saw.  So, I showed her how to use the saw, etc.

Just after setting her up, I got a call from one of our neighbors at church.  They wanted to know if we needed help.  Shortly after our friends arrived, the missionaries were on their way to our friend's house when they spotted all of us working, so they stopped to help.  Again, shortly after that help got started, our neighbor with the chain saw stopped by again.

All of the limbs & what no were all cut up, and cleared out of the way.

This was a lot of work that caused by knees to hurt like hell Saturday night and Sunday....

Sunday, Ellie wanted to go out and work on the fence... So instead of getting my knees ready to rest and recuperate, I dressed in my working gear... Shorts, t-shirt and hunting boots.  No coat this time, like Saturday.
I measured the piece of timber we'd need, ran an inventory of what we needed... then Ellie went and got it.

She returned with it, and a bit later on, the missionaries showed up again, and we got the fences all done yesterday as well.

Needless to say, last night, my body hurt like hell!

Everyone was going to be early, my head hurt like hell and I was tired...

Ellie asked me if I was going to bed, so I got up and went to bed... She was expecting some action... but I had that damn terrible headache, and would be grateful if the damn thing went away so I could sleep.

She got all bent out of shape that I wasn't "all over her"... well, that's probably not what she wanted.. but it sure as well feels like that some days between us...  I never expect her to "jump my bones" just because I "want some"...

Moving to this morning, I got pretty good sleep... rather I felt better, no immediate pain... Just had to get up and pee...

Despite wanting to wake up enough to have some action with Ellie didn't work... I just couldn't get myself into a high enough consciousnesses to stay awake.

Whilst getting dressed, I mentioned that I REALLY hurt... then things seemed to get pissy.

I just tried to stay the FUCK OUT OF EVERYONE'S WAY at that point...

Just after Ellie left... I texted her asking her if she was angry because I couldn't figure out if she was or not...

Being in my current state, I sent her another text over an hour later, telling her when I last texted and if she was ignoring me...

To boot, I called the doctor about my FUCKING KNEES! 

See, three weeks ago he did steroid injections, and said he would "QUICKLY" (FUCKING EH, right?) follow up with additional "visco-supplication" shots to help, as he "found" that to be the best way to deal with it...

SO FUCKING WHAT NOW?

SO the FUCKING DOCTOR IS ON VACATION NOW AND NO FUCKING SHOTS OR ADDITIONAL PAIN KILLERS>

Now I sit in fucking pain and currently am contemplating hurting myself...  or taking more pain pills than I'm allotted to get the fucking pain under control.

I HAVE no FUCKING Ice Cream!

DAMMIT... I've been so good and losing weight... so much so.. that by doctor's scales I'm down 40 pounds now.

SO WTF?  I want Ice Cream to help drown my sorrows and worries...

Good thing I don't drink or do drugs or I'd probably be roaring drunk or stoned by now...

Ellie and I just started texting now... that and some Xanax I took is helping me feel better and calm down...

Shit from work isn't going that well either... so I'm at fucking odds to what to do about things.

Adware sucks.

Since I come a security background, I know that I've done some pretty stupid things with my android phone.

I've installed various things that I shouldn't have, for various purposes... Like a wma->mp3 convertor... It required options not available on Google Play...etc...

However, I have installed things through Google Play that have appeared to made the adware worse...

In fact, my phone was running "fine" until last week... when I got a pop-up for installing a new "Free" - "iPhone 5s Keyboard iOS 7"...

I don't know why it was showing up in the notification part of my phone, unless Google decided to notify its users about it.

Unfortunately, and stupidly, like a sheep, I clicked and installed it...

Now I started to get all sorts of adware popping up asking me to install additional apps.

After clearing off, almost all the custom apps I installed, I got to a point where I didn't really see any other apps causing me a problem...

Yet, I still got an alert that I need to install the Google Play service, as the Google maps required it...

It did not require it... I could open Google maps, browse maps, locations, etc. Just fine.

BTW, I installed Norton's Android AV software, other application tracking and ad-tracking software.  It seems that there's stuff that's much NEWER than these know how to deal with, even with current signatures.

I'll still install the Norton Android AV software, as it's free through my employer.

Well, I managed to sync up my address/phone book and my calendar, so I'm going to factory reset.

Wish me luck!