I'm not certain why it seems that things need to change so much.
Here I am now writing a blog entry that will never be seen by anyone else, but perhaps my family. Not that I'm complaining about my family, but that Ellie and I decided that all of these blog entries should be unpublished. This is for security purposes of our family.
Despite my long knowledge of cyber security, she was very worried that so much "information" had been published by me online.
No real names, places, nor general information about our exact location. Only general information that was given was that we lived in the NW US. There's a LOT of square mileage in the NW US. Not to mention that there are TONS of employers for Software here this general location of the United States.
However, I started this blog mostly as what it is there for. A journal, a place to write down my feelings and frustrations. Mostly about my bipolar symptoms, troubles and what not.
Primarily it focused on that, yet it also carried on my general feelings and problems with day to day family life at times.
Not too negative at all... Usually, except where I got really frustrated, yet... what's the purpose of writing something like this if you're not going to be honest?
Last night, Ellie seemed to have a bit of a melt down for some reason. We're not really sure what's going on, but when she thought about why she was really upset, she couldn't pin in on anything in particular.
What she figured was that it was her "diet" pill that's supposed to help curb her desire to eat so much food.
Ellie knows the ins & outs of various diets, as she's done many of them. Her favorite is Weight Watchers. Yet, it seems hard for her to really just make the change(s) permanently to her diet to stay slender.
I'm not great at sticking fully to all the changes, but I am working harder at keeping my consumption down to serving sizes. Yet, there are times that I do imbibe on multiple serving sizes instead of just keeping to the one I was given or picked out.
I suppose that the reason that I'm not always just eating a normal serving size recently or limiting myself a bit more is that I've felt more and more hungry instead of keeping myself feeling full.
Eating a bowl of grits in the morning seems to help hold me for multiple hours. Then I proceed to eat at least one fiber/snack bar sometime prior to lunch time. Yet, I don't always eat "lunch" that's actually planned out or healthy.
Well, I need to take that back... I don't eat a lunch because I don't prepare one for me to eat. I tend to hit another snack bar, instead of doing a more fulfilling lunch meal.
Perhaps I'll start eating soup or chili or something else that has a more substantial substance to it, so that way I can, hopefully, keep myself feeling full and stop snacking on those "bars" or small bits of cookies or something else like that.
Right now, since we're preparing stuff for Christmas & bake sales, it's getting hard to say no to sweets. I now understand what Ellie told me after we got married. If you see it, you tend to want to eat it.
Last night, she and the kids made those "Haystack Cookies". They're an addictive type of "cookie" that I really like to eat. I had perhaps four of them, instead of just a single serving of one.
If we put out a tray of goodies everyday, I'd be into it ALL the time. You know, if you pass by and see something that looks like it'd taste good, you'd stop and pick one up and eat it. Or perhaps, for some who don't see cookies as a treat, it'd be something else. Tickets to a game, or shiny objects, etc. Everyone has something that they'd pick up if it was sitting out and permitted to be "free". Perhaps like a pile of dollar bills. You'd pick up one when you passed by. The later on, if you passed by again, you'd pick up another one, or two.
My office chair sinks down too low in the seat, so that my tail bone hits the back piece of wood/frame. If I don't pay attention to this throughout the day, it really hurts like a mother blaster at night or for several days. I was thinking about it this morning while first sitting down and felt the chair's frame/design. I decided that I could take the chair apart a bit, and put a piece of plywood or what not to span the frame a bit more. It'd make the seat stiffer, but it'd also prevent it from sagging and having my tail bone hitting the dang frame in the back of the chair.
While getting dressed this morning, I looked up at my shelf of antique cameras, and noticed Ellie's opal ring. I've had it up there for several years now, and keep meaning to take some of the opal we bought, just for the purpose of me to cut, shape and polish a replacement for it. I'm taking resolve to work on it tonight after work, if I can.(AKA, if Ellie doesn't have something else that takes priority.) It shouldn't take too long, as opals are a fairly soft stone compared to other stones that I've cut, shaped and polished.
I have some very pretty, raw opal stones. Some of them are the usual white fire opal, while others are blue tinted fire opals.
So, I suppose, what I'll do is cut several stones to fit the ring's mounts and let Ellie choose which one I'll mount into the ring.
Well, I need to get to work as I have a meeting in another hour or so. Meetings aren't bad, but sometimes, they suck as they interrupt my work flow/progress/funk. :)
