Catching up to January 29, 2014.

Christmas was... well Christmas... Things went really good.  No family fights/arguments/etc.

A week or two ago, I get a call from my oldest daughter telling me that she wants to move in.

See, she finished the school term at the college in another state, and went back home to her mom.

During a conversation Big Miss was having with a friend, her half-sister got irritating... her half sister got their mom involved, and after much yelling, their mom slapped Big Miss, raking with her nails... Big Miss had scratches on her face after the encounter.

Now, I love my child, even though I haven't seen her, nor interacted with her on a regular basis for many years.  (Interacting with her was always a problem with me, because I had to go through her mom to get to her... and her mom and I well... we argue a LOT and her mom isn't really my favorite person.)

I regret not interacting with her more, and not taking more time to save more and more money to visit more... but it's hard to save money when you're beating off a county/government from taking ALL your money for child support that they feel the kid deserves, despite how much/little you make. (Flat 15%, instead of a rate for the area they live in...)  Too many times I got calls from my Ex asking where the money was.  It was garnished by my employer and I had no control over how long it took to get from them to the county, and then the county to my Ex.

So, I really stopped responding to the phone calls and screened them, because all it became was a bitch session by my Ex.

Even after they first left, I used to get pages/calls from Big Miss (at this time around 2+ years old).  Big Miss and I would chat/talk for quite sometime, even if it was strange communication.
When they started moving across the states several times, this communication from them pretty much ceased being friendly, to being confrontational by my Ex.

I know I put a LOT of blame on her, but I just got tired of the arguments and de-stressed from it to find internal peace.  I did find the peace, and started sending more funds and gifts, when I could...

Now that Big Miss is here, the first week went as I expected... Lots of talking and her "detoxing" from the situation she just left.

Currently she has a cold, and I understand that, but she's basically been hiding in her room and not interacting with the rest of the family except for meal times.

Last week I installed a new wireless router as a hotspot and put a wireless fob on Ellie's computer so that we can get her system to communicate with the rest of the house easily through the wireless, instead of figuring out how to connect the CAT5 from place to place in the house, without lots of drilling and attic crawling.

Well, this changed as I "disabled" the original Wireless network, and renamed it.

I setup my phone to use the original Wireless network, and no one else can go straight to the internet as they're going through the hotspot to the firewall then out to the internet.... as it should be for security.

Since Big Miss has been hiding in her room, watching YouTube, using FaceBook, and generally just sucking bandwidth, I configured the new HotSpot to turn off the wireless from 8:00 AM to 12:00 PM.

It's not a long disconnect time, but it's enough for me to feel that she might actually start working more on her Driver's permit, as she doesn't have driver's license, which means that she doesn't have a government issued ID.  This made it hard getting her money via Western Union... but I got it to her for the trip.

While disconnected, I also hope she fills out the job applications she has, so that she can start to earn her own money.

I'm not going to pay for her to waste the left over money I gave her for the trip and for all the "new" stuff she said she needs. (Dresses, belts, etc.)

It's not that I don't want to help her.... I just spent close to $300 a few weeks ago to get her here.... so she can make do with what she has to get along...

At least she has a good, warm place to stay with good food to eat...  Unless she went back to her mom's house and dealt with more confrontations/etc... she'd probably be on the streets or spend LOTS of her time couch surfing and not getting anywhere.

I really want her to succeed and make something of and for herself instead of just idling around.

This isn't as detailed as it could be, but who the heck wants to spend all day reading more than I already posted?

I also really need to get into the corporate system to fill out some yearly forms... (Whoopee... If my pay wasn't tied to this, I would skip it or make excuses for not filling them out.)

Screw it...

Let Ellie get mad at me...

I haven't really posted/written anything since this blog went private.

I don't understand why that is... Perhaps it's that it doesn't feel like this is going to make any difference in my life unless I can actually share it with someone.

Ellie never read it in the first place, and I really don't want my kids in grade school to read what I'm posting... it might actually cause problems.

Being private, this blog sucks and seems like a waste now.

I used to post here every single day if I could find something to write about.

Part of it was just venting out my frustrations and part of it was logging information to see how many people hit/read my posts.

It felt like I was helping people by making my thoughts/posts visible.

 Now, I really don't give a shit.

I'm really tempted to make everything visible again, and to hell with Ellie's paranoia about people finding out who I really am.  The government probably already knows who I am, but I'm not doing anything that's a threat to the country.. rather a threat to any of their political parties/factions/etc.

As to individuals who really want to find out who I am, I know the hardcore hackers/etc. can do it... I know if I wanted to find out about someone I met online, over time I could do it.
 (Gathering information about places they've been, where they're near, etc.)  It also helps when they use their real name.

For me, I just feel down about this blog and really don't give a shit about it these days.  Not even as a general journal anymore.

Since I deleted ALL of my accounts (Google+, YouTube, & Hangouts), I feel very isolated when I'm working.

I really don't miss Google+, but I do miss posting comments to YouTube videos.. Although, I think I need a Google+ account to do that even now.

Without those accounts, its also hard to notify people of blog changes, new entries, etc.