A little from column A, a little from column B.

Bill Gannon: Are you stalling for time, or are you just senile?
Abe Simpson: A little from column A, a little from column B.

 I don't know exactly how I feel today, but to say that a little from each column please...

 Last night, I felt extremely FAT.

So fat, in fact, that it looked like I was going to develop one of those damn "eaves" or "Fat rolls?".  I dunno how it's called medically, except that when I see it, it looks like where the fat has decided that it's not content to live in one spot, but has decided that it's going to spill, but cannot spill forward, so it just sags the skin outward and down.

I don't have a belly like that.

I took some fiber last night, and this morning, when I got up, prior to using the bathroom, my belly looked more normal again.

So, I suppose it must've been gas & I was full of shit...

My pain meds do cause constipation, and I try to take fiber daily, but perhaps I need to do it twice daily and accept the continuous shitting.

I'm certain that it will eventually help to clear me out and perhaps, like the anorexics, I'll thin out... HA! right.

When Ellie came home from her meeting, I told her that I was concerned as I was having a harder time breathing and wiping my ass... (Yes, wiping my ass... When you have the extra weight, it's harder to reach that area... Don't worry, I'm clean, and can wipe still.)  I wanted to go see the family doctor, but Ellie went off on how I was only supposed to consume xxx number of calories, etc... I told her I wasn't really ready to learn all that just before bed time, and that it was like me spouting off how to do stuff with the computers when she wasn't ready to learn it.  An, "at the time", useless bit of information.

Good thing Ellie doesn't pay attention to my blog, or else she'd probably go off on how much detail I put up there... but it's detail that some people don't otherwise know or experience if they're not getting fat quickly like I am...

In the past 6 months, I've gone from around 290ish to 330ish.

That's a huge weight gain, if you ask me... but what's changed?  Well, I'm at max dosage of Effexor XR (300mg).  I'm also on 5mg of Zyprexa (which is still considered low)... I think the weight gain has more to do with Zyprexa than anything else.

My weight has been pretty much around 270-290 for years, and for me to breach and stay over 300 lbs, is pretty significant.

My diet hasn't really changed much from last year, and in fact, right now, I feel like I'm eating less than I was a year ago.

So what gives?

Should I stop my meds? Probably not.

If I stop my meds, I know that Ellie will completely flip out.

Right now, Ellie is in the garage loading up our trailer to go camping this weekend as a family.

I don't really know if I can handle that much stress, and worry a bit that emotionally it'll tip me over the edge.

Camping is something that my wife and her family have been doing forever, and my family only did it on occasions as it was a pain in the ass to get 6 kids ready to go.

I've done lots of overnight camp outs with my dad & brothers, and week long ventures as a boy scout.

So why are things different now?

• Arthritis
• Migraines
• Bipolar
• Sleep Apnea

I don't know that Ellie understands how much stress this type of adventure can put on me.  There are times, that just going out to dinner sets me off.

Well, more to come, I suppose as the week progresses.