The Bread Baker Commeth... (Part I)

I have been baking bread since I was a teenager.

In my teens it was not always sandwich/regular bread, but sweet/quick breads.  You know... Banana, pumpkin, and my all time favorite of that type... Zucchini bread.

GIVE IT UP TO ZUCCHINI BREAD!
Raise the roof Zucchini... It's your birthday...

(WTF that really means in today's world... More phrases and crap that I picked up along my life's journey... like Ghetto Fabulous)

When it came to sandwich bread, it was a recipe that I got from my mom.
("Dude, your step-mom is hot!"... "Shut up Ted!" - Bill & Teds Excellent Adventure)

This recipe is not based on the volume of flour, but rather by weight...

Layman's terms, without much of the chemistry/logical BS... Instead of using cups, it's by the pound.

So this recipe starts off with 10-5lbs of white flour.

Many of years ago, I started doing a 50:50 ratio of white/wheat, and it was good... but still, it was a butt load, of flour.. (What really consists of a butt load?  I never thought about that till now... Is it the amount of shit you're able to retain before crapping in your pants?  Or perhaps the even more popular "Shit Load" measurement?)

With the large amounts of flour, I had to use large stock pots and mix it with my hands.  This meant, I got lots of dough stuck to my "fur". (Ellie and girls like to pet my arm hair like I was a damn cat.  They say it's really soft.)

The last large batch of bread took most of a Saturday to rise and then to finally bake. (Almost twelve hours)  After few hours into the raising I took the rest of the regular yeast I'd been using and just mixed it in... Still took too long.

Read on for the next episode of adventures with The Bread Baker!