What's this? Two meals in one week? - Zoidberg (Futurama)

I love Futurama... I'm sure I have stated that before, but I really do.

However, the humor from it, at this point, isn't going to help me much today... I don't think.

My head is starting to hurt again, and only one side is aching... So most likely, I'll be into my pain pills soon, and perhaps more ice cream.

Although, as I stated the other day, I haven't been hitting on the ice cream very hard.

I noticed this morning, as I pulled on an XL shirt, that it wasn't as snug around my mid section as it was last week when I wore it.

So, I suppose I should throw a party and eat some cake & what not to celebrate, eh?  That way, in a week or two, when I work off that sugar, I can do it again.

I almost compared it to bulimia, but thought, I'd get hate letters... (Wait! I just did!  D'oh!)

He-he... I had to add "D'oh" to my browser's spell check dictionary.  Kind of funny, but it is in many modern dictionaries now.

Today is almost a ...SQUIRREL!... day.

I know what I need to do, and am working up my motivation to get it done.

We had to get many defects fixed this week and spend more time doing our own Q&A, as someone thought it prudent to cut funding and fire our Q&A guy...  Not our boss, but someone a ways above him.

Although, these days, with how much traction our tool is getting, we need Q&A to help us not miss things, like misspelled words, or false positives for our reporting on technical problems. (i.e. like if an OS is supported, when it really isn't.)

I thought to myself, prior to writing this entry, that I would go through and work on fixing/completing all of the items currently assigned to me, then I was going to start tackling a majority of the usability issues with our UI.

After all, the entire team finally has licenses to the UI plug-ins that we're using.

What a pain that was.  I could look at the code, see what needed to be done to fix it, but was unable to fix it and test it, because I didn't have a freakin' license.

Today, is Friday, and in two days, I get to see my family again!  w00t!

I have had some crazy dreams involving Ellie, and won't she be surprised!? heh heh. :)

The kids will be fun to have here, as I'll have someone to joke with and get into trouble with again.

I have enjoyed my time by myself, and the quiet times that I've spent reading books on the Kindle or doing various puzzles in one of those Variety Puzzle books. (crosswords and such)

Also, just letting my mind wander its own journey sometimes.

Besides, after watching and reading through Shakespearean books/movies, I have started connecting with my writing mind again.

Not just touching the surface of my writing creativity, but actually thinking as a writer again.  Thinking in prose/poetry, or in terms of stories.  Not to mention that I've had some pretty vivid dreams, not just of Ellie and I, but of things I could use for stories.

I love dreams, as I've had so many dreams come true, and so many have been inspiration for things that I've done.

Like, I remember dreaming of a girl that would be dressed in blue coming down the stairs of my apartment, about one week before my date with Ellie.  She was wearing a blue dress! :)

Don't discount dreams.

Ever feel like you're slipping backwards on a muddy slope without any way to hold on?

Today, that's exactly how I feel.

I want to be upbeat and lively, but I'm having a really, really hard time doing just that.

Yesterday, I was feeling really nauseated... I mean, REALLY nauseated.

So bad that I dry heaved into the trashcan in my office.  Eventually, I sent a message to my boss telling him that I was going to take the rest of the day off, because I was feeling so ill.

My post nasal drip is still going on, and in short, I'm starting to feel miserable again.

Well, this morning, I thought, "Hey, I'll be OK".

It started like that...

Until I saw that the boss sent me an email with a document from various people who've run our tool and had input/comments to make on it.

One of the stupidest things that I've seen from these guys, multiple times is that our tools' Reports are invalid, and to refer to their Documentation to prove otherwise.

So, I do.  I download the latest version of their Official Documentation.  Which turns out to support exactly what our tool has done.

It seems as though these guys really have NO idea what they're talking about, or really only THINK, they know what they're talking about.

On an upside, I feel like I've lost weight, since my family has been out of town.

My diet recently:

• Breakfast: Usually 1 Pancake/Sausage on a stick. (See previous post.. mmm  mmm.)
• Lunch: Perhaps a P&J sandwich for lunch, if anything for lunch at all.
• Dinner: Some cheap $1.00 something microwave dinner.
• 1 bowl of ice cream a day... If that. (I know, right?  Who'd have thunk I wouldn't always have Ice-cream everyday!?)

I know that not all of those items are healthy by any means, but in terms of living as a temporary bachelor again, it's pretty darn healthy.

Again, this week, I've been using my alarm clock, so that way I can start work early and stop early, as the heat really gets to me. Except this week.  The heat's been pretty cool, compared to last week.


My sleep hasn't been all that grand recently... I've been sleeping, but sometimes, I'm only sleeping 5-7 hours/night.

 This week, I've been going to bed earlier than last week.. Typically around 8-9 PM every night.

What's odd, is that I lie there, but cannot fall to sleep, so I read books on my Kindle Touch.

On Tuesday night, I started Romeo & Juliet by Shakespeare. (Well, duh, who else wrote it, eh?)

I was on a Shakespeare movie kick recently, so I thought, why not read the original plays & works?

Jane Austin's stuff is pretty good to go through, although, if I'm not careful when I'm beginning her stuff, I get lost.  She doesn't do a lot of repetitive use of her characters' names from page to page. Either that, or I'm just not paying enough attention.

I guess I tend to skim/read through many, many books.

Which, I suppose, is why I have re-read through a couple of Acts in Romeo & Juliet so far, as I felt loss after finishing one or wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything.

Reading a play is much different than watching one.

I don't have much inspirational to post today.

Since posting more inspirational topics, I noticed that my blog is getting more attention.

That's funny, because on YouTube, the opposite behavior happens.

Those who post videos of their Bipolar struggles, usually get lots of hits, and the moment that they start posting videos discussing God or their religious convictions, the views go down.

Today, I thought about posting something humorous, but as I thought about what I could be funny about, it reminded me about being in a religious study class.

The class itself, was actually Old Testament studies, and the teacher suddenly switched topics.

He brought up how he was a young man, and getting ready to leave on a mission.  Just before he left, he thought he should visit one of his church leaders about the way he'd been feeling about the jokes he used to tell.  For his visit, he saw this church leader at his office place of business.

The leader then asked him to tell him one of his off color jokes.  Now my instructor said that he sat there for probably 5-10 minutes before this church leader asked him again to tell him a joke.

Well, he finally told him a joke, and he said he couldn't remember the content of it when he told the class about this story.  He was then asked if he really thought it was funny.

His church leader, then opened the door and told him to turn around and bend over.  Our instructor complied, and then received a good kick in the butt out the door, and told to stop.

All of the secretaries & people working outside of the leader's office saw this, and my instructor was very embarrassed.

After he related this story to me, I thought about the manner of joking that I had been involved in, both before I married Ellie and after.

I felt bad, and I even called Ellie's dad to apologize to him about some of the jokes that I told around him.

Since that time, I have really struggled hard to not involve myself with dirty jokes.

My coworkers, often get to joking, and when it starts to turn dirty, I leave.  To some of them, it's a bit of game, to see if they can crack me, so that I'll join in their joking.

I can be proud to say that I can stay away from it.

If I could find this instructor, I'd like to thank him for his sudden thoughts of inspiration to share his story with the class.

Lord, it is good for us to be here...

A little over 13 years ago, when I was 25ish, I was asked to give a talk to the congregation at church.

I was freshly divorced, attending a young single adult congregation.  I had been alone and celibate for nearly three years, from the time that my ex-wife had left me.

During the time that I was alone, I really discovered God, and when I joined this younger congregation, I felt that I was in the right place, at the right time.

So, when I was asked to talk, I had just finished reading through the book of Matthew, in the New Testament, and the line "Lord, it is good for us to be here" really stood out to me.

Here it is in context:

 1 And after six days Jesus taketh ^aPeter, James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into an high mountain apart,

 2 And was ^atransfigured before them: and his face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light.

 3 And, behold, there appeared unto them ^aMoses and ^bElias talking with him.

 4 Then answered Peter, and said unto Jesus, Lord, it is good for us to be here: if thou wilt, let us make here three tabernacles; one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias. (Matthew 17:1–4 KJV).

I started to speak to my young single peers, and I expounded to them, that it was good that we were there, in a chapel dedicated to the Lord.

Feeling moved by the Holy Ghost, I then explained how I had been named before I was born, but not the name that my mother had expected to give me. (I posted this previously. Read it here.)

Also, my over the years, my mother often told me about the dedication prayer at the chapel that I had attended as child.  That it was foretold that many great leaders would pass through its doors.  Now this is true, many great leaders have passed through its doors to go on into the higher leadership of our church.

Do I consider myself to be a great leader?

These days, I question it greatly.

Back then, as I stood before that congregation, I felt that I was going to be a great leader unto many of them.

Most of the congregation was younger than I was and I was considered an "old man" at 25.

I was able to share my experiences with them.

Ellie, my wife, was not a very active member of that congregation.  On a Monday, she showed up for an hike up a local butte. (I know it looks like butt, but it's pronounced beaut, like beaut-i-ful.)

When I saw Ellie, I knew that I had found the person I was going to marry.  That night, after the hike, we decided to head over to someone's house to watch Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail, and eat pizza.  Which I funded... (Hey, I was making 28k-29k/year as single guy at the time, and I had extra $ on me all the time, since I had a roommate and we split costs.)

As we started grabbing pizza and seats, I noticed that someone else had sat next to Ellie on the couch, and I offered the guy the corner seat at the couch, as the "most comfortable" place to sit, so that I could sit next to Ellie.  :)

I was so compelled to ask her out, that I almost pulled my Palm Pilot out to ask her out. (Yes, I was a geek back then, and carried a PDA, long before Smart Phones)

It was probably better that I didn't.  Aside from looking like a geek, I didn't want the other guys there to know that I wanted to know Ellie better.  (Dating in a young congregation like that was almost like fighting a battle.  I'd seen some guys/gals sabotage future relationships in the interest of attracting someone's attention.  

Many of us referred to make-up as "War Paint", as many of the gals were always looking for their future husbands.

When I told Ellie that later on that I was going to use the Palm Pilot to ask her out, she said she'd been embarrassed if I had.

So I called her at home, the next day and we made a date for Saturday night.

This was my third date for the week.  I had planned on taking one girl to lunch on Weds afternoon, and I had another date planned with a girl to go bowling on Friday night, then another one with Ellie Saturday.

Now, I know many of you are going...

Holy COW!

Were you a player?

No!

I just figured out that I hadn't really met enough girls to choose one and settle down.  I also knew what I was looking for in a wife, after my previous marriage.

On Saturday night, we went to dinner and a movie.  During the movie, I felt strongly compelled to reach down a hold Ellie's hand.  I was SCARED!  I'd never felt this way about anyone else before.  Not even my ex-wife.  So, I grabbed her hand, and we never really let go until our date was over.

The next day, at church, I sat behind her, and passed her a note, asking her if we could go out again... She said "yes".

So, over the next few weeks, I tried to get her on the phone, but she was busy with school so I left messages with her folks.  I figured, if she said "yes" to another date, I'd try to contact her weekly to get my second date.

I finally got with her almost a month later, and we really clicked.  It was like we were waiting for each other.

Eventually on one of our dates, about a 6-7 weeks after we met, I was really quiet and she asked me what I was thinking... So I spilled my guts....

"It'd be nice to be married."

I knew I took her by surprise. At first, she said no... As we continued to go out on dates that week, she started asking about plans to get married.

To wind up this story, we got married about 3 1/2 months after first meeting.

Our marriage has had rocky moments, but I still love Ellie now as much as I did then.

God Bless!

Wow, have I been negative!!!

I've been really but negative and not feeling well for quite a while.

After my post yesterday, I thought about how I've been feeling/acting recently.

Now, I know pain can make us do things that we wouldn't normally do and make us feel like garbage.

No one that I know, acts like pain is great to go through.

Last week, I was "OK", but not really.

I had a lot of stress from my family getting ready to go on their camping trip.  It seemed every time I turned around, I was getting stopped during my work time to help do something.  What frustrated me here, was that if I'd been working from the office, they couldn't bother me, but whenever I'm working from home, it's like I get pegged all the time, as though I wasn't working.

Granted, last week, I think I had the same type of headache going on that I had over the weekend.  I also had the news that a whole different Orthopedic Doctor told me that there wasn't anything they could do for me, because I was too young.  The only thing he suggested was for me to contact my primary care giver for weight loss assistance.

What frustrates me about the last suggestion, is that my wife and I see the same doctor.  He prescribes her meds to help her lose weight, and me... well, all I get is "Do MORE exercise" and "eat less".

It's an oxymoron to tell a person with arthritis pain in their knees to exercise.  Seriously, isn't that what causes the pain in the first place?  I know that's what causes most of my pain.

Circling back to my mood/attitude, I want to do something different with my blog, aside from complaining about my Bipolar self.

I think I'd like to occasionally post something more positive, like I did yesterday.

Not like I want to preach to people, but to give hope and inspire.

Heck, isn't that one of the reasons why we're here?  To help lift each other up?