I love the internet for board games, but I hate the players.

There have been so many times that I want to play Backgammon or cribbage against people, only to get started into a game, then to have them quit the game rather than lose to me.

I'm not saying that I'm the world's greatest player, but I do win more often than lose.  One of my coworkers noticed this and she and I were always partners when playing four handed cribbage.

Currently, I'm feeling better, not so much in a snit that I was in.

I don't know why I was in such an odd state earlier today & yesterday...

Perhaps it was that I skipped my dose of Effexor yesterday, and it took several hours today to buffer it up so that I can get used to it.

My wife & kids went to the Mall as the bras Ellie bought several weeks ago started coming apart already, and so she went in to get replacements.

I'm still at a loss at how expensive a garment, such as a bra, is that women hardly ever show... :)

I feel nauseated right now, and I'm not certain what to do about it... yet...

I believe Ellie has some phenergan somewhere around here that I might take if this feeling doesn't go away.

Then again, one of the kids puked while we were out camping, so it might be a virus going around.

I just hate these early summer sicknesses.

With the thought that I'm not sleeping well right now, I think I'll try to get to bed earlier tonight, and use the CPAP machine.

I'm not feeling that I cannot breathe or that I'm winded all the time like I did over the weekend.

Talk about distressing, how spending hours trying to get your breath and not being able to fully get it?

WTF do I get to hurt so much?

My knees hurt like hell right now, and I haven't done much on them except walk down the block a few times yesterday.

My right knee is really painful and I'm in a I don't give a shit state.

I was born under a wandering star... - Paint Your Wagon

I've no idea why I thought about that song, except that it's playing in WinAmp now.

I suppose what I think about is that it would be nice to be able to wander around from place to place without much trouble doing so.

There are days that I wish I had the knees & body to be able to do things like wander from place to place.

It'd be fitting for someone who gets awfully melancholy like I do.

Perhaps that's why there are so many people with mental illness who are homeless, as they just want to wander from place to place.

Well, this doesn't help my knee stop hurting as I would really like to even just cut them off and go around on stumps.  Maybe not.. I dunno.  I'm just tired of the fucking pain.

Who isn't tired of pain!?

Why are you reading this instead of doing something more productive?

Hell, I dunno why I'm doing this very much anymore these days.

It's not like anyone ever comments on the shit I write anymore...

What work???

Last night I had terrible knee pain so I didn't fall asleep till about midnight. Several hours later I woke up with terrible pain in my sinuses. I tried to work but couldn't so I took some tylenol and aspirin and feel to sleep for a few more hours... but knowing life to be cruel, I tried to work again only to be too tired, so I figured to hell with it and went back to bed...

I spent most of the day in and out of sleep, that I just could not control.

I did it without flipping out.

I managed to survive the family camp out this year without freaking out or having any sort of an episode, although, I thought to myself multiple times that I didn't want to really be there.

My biggest problem right now, is that I cannot seem to wake up very well, but I also had the worst night sleep in a while.

I stayed up till close to midnight, because I couldn't sleep, then I woke up around 5:00 AM because my left sinus passage was in a lot of pain.  So, I tried to go to work, but it was too hard, so I used the hair dryer against my face, as the heat often helps.

Finally, I took a couple of aspirin and Tylenol, and that helped, and I fell asleep until close to 7:00 AM.

Now I'm still tired, but at least I am more awake than I was earlier.

I'll try to post more info about the camp out later on, as I'm still kind of spaced out and I'd rather like to try and work, if possible, or just tell the boss that I'm wasted from not sleeping and take the day off.

In many ways today, I just want to cry...

I don't know that I'm depressed, but I do feel a bit blue and my mindset feel a bit fragile.

I don't rightly know why, but that's what I feel like today.

We're supposed to go camping after we get done with school & work...

I'm starting to wish it was only a day trip and not several nights camping.

The kids are already punchy, and I don't want to hear a lot of fighting in the car or after work, or I might pop.

Ellie would get mad if I stayed home, or if all I wanted to do when I got there was to read books on my Kindle.

Funny how people think of family vacations in one way when others want to just relax...