Must be "that" time again.

Well, maybe not the time you think it is, but perhaps it's the time for the monthly cycle sales...

Oh well.

Ellie has been getting pushed under a lot of stress, again, and she usually freaks out and starts to go totally berserk when this happens.

Don't think I'm over exaggerating, because while I am a little bit, but it's pretty true.

Yesterday, when she got home from work, she said she was absolutely tired and wanted to sleep/nap really badly.

Well, she couldn't.  The Misses are in two different sports right now, so they're on two different practice and game schedules.

So, she couldn't sleep because of that, then she started flipping out on me about something I did on Friday, which I shouldn't have done, but I didn't think anything about it when I did it.

I gave what I thought were a couple of "idle" threats to the physical therapist.  (I said I was going to punch him in the face if he didn't stop something because it was making my pain much much worse.)

What he did to warrant me saying this was that when he kept pushing my leg beyond where I could handle it, even after I said I couldn't do it and that the pain was already beyond what I could handle for the day!

So, on the way home, I got scolded by Ellie like I was 12.  That was not good enough, because she brought it up again yesterday.

Then on top of things again, she brought up, how she can't wait until I was off "the medicine", meaning pain killers.  Ellie said how she didn't want me to find a "new" way or "pain" so that I could keep using them.

You know what, that's a hell of an insult to me.

I'm the one who's cutting back on the pain med usage after the surgery right now, not her.  Not even the doctor is giving me suggestions of how much to cut back to.

When I cut back for about half a day, then I get nailed hard when my body's saturation level depletes and the pain completely hits me again.

Here, Ellie says, "Maybe you shouldn't have cut back so much?"

WTF!?

Ellie suggested that we go and see the marriage counselor again, which I am open to, because the marriage counselor is the same counselor I see in general.

When Ellie said I had to do it, I said that she could call the number on the back of the insurance card because it was the same phone number.

For whatever reason, this made her flip out some more.  "I don't want to do it!" she practically screamed at me.

Now, I wasn't telling her she had to do anything, I was just explaining how I do it.

I think Ellie just needs to see the counselor by herself.  Ellie doesn't handle stress well, and has bad anxiety problems...  Ellie will NEVER admit she has anxiety problems related to stress.  Nor will she ever take medication because of it, because "she's not crazy!"

I guess I'm one loony mother fucker then.

Now, I've been ragging on Ellie for most of this post, and it's only because I'm upset with her.

Mostly, I'm concerned about her more than anything else.

I Love Ellie!

Since I lost my job she's been riding on the edge.

Now going through the healing process of knee replacement has made this edge thinner.

Finally, working, and the kids going to school and sports, has made that edge a virtual piece of hair!

Yesterday, apparently, the thread she had been on snapped.

I love her, and I can't wait until I am recovered from the knee replacements and have another job.

The job can be any sort of hours right now, mostly because I want Ellie to struggle a little bit just for me to be employed.

It would be really good for her to struggle while I'm not at home to hear about it.

I'm sorry to say all of that Ellie.

I really, really love you!