I think it's going to happen sooner than I expect.

More and more recently, it's been feeling like it's going to happen.

What's going to happen you say?

My desire to keep working for my employer is waning really bad.

Yesterday I was working "OK", I guess.

But, I really haven't been working full speed for almost a year now.

What I mean by full speed is that... well..

Hell, it's hard to say.

Maybe I can compare it to driving a car.

For me, full speed is over 100 MPH.

While half is closer to 60 MPH.

The past year, I've been averaging about 5-20 MPH.

It really sucks.

I don't know what to do, or where to go.

It think I'm going to start applying for SSI, Disability soon, then to wind up retiring while I continue to write and attempt to publish my books, stories and poetry.

I'm afraid, and I don't know where to turn.

I'm afraid it's too late to stop things...