I'm a Pepper. He's a pepper. She's a pepper. We're a pepper. Wouldn't you like to be a... ah fuck it.

I mean... ah hell.

It doesn't matter after all, but I thought it would mean more to what I'm about to rant on about today.

I weigh about 270 lbs.

The reaction of some people is to run and scream:

"OH HOLY SHIT!"

Although... when people actually see it on my 6'2"+ frame, it's not so apparent.

I know I'm overweight, but I don't feel overweight.

Right now, I still feel like the skinny dude I was before my legs got lamed and it got REALLY hard to walk.

According to the "doctors", I'm 100 lbs over weight.

It seems like a lot of weight, but when I think about it, when I was at 180-190 lbs, I was VERY skinny.

I fit into 34" waist jeans with room to spare.

Not lots of room, but enough room that they could sag a bit if I wasn't wearing a tucked in shirt.

I just now realized, that I fit into a 38" waist pair of jeans...

Now, I know that's a 4" difference, but it's only 2 sizes larger.  Not 4 sizes larger.

After all, to illustrate things more, I wear a belt that has to be synched up to keep my pants and shorts from falling!
WHY?
Because, I have strong, thick legs.

Even though, I don't walk very often anymore, I can still dead lift quite a bit of weight. 50-100lbs bags of concrete, dog food, etc.

Hell, I don't even want to be on the opposite side of my own kicks.

Many moons ago, and know I could kick hard then, but due to the light weight, I didn't have a wallop.  Now it'll be like kicking someone with my back against a brick wall.  I won't rebound much at all with the force of the kick.

Going back to the pants/shorts fitting, aside from the legs of them not fitting me very well, I also like to wear suspenders.

I really get tired of wearing a belt cinched up, so I like suspenders to keep my drawers up without a belt digging into my waist and gut.

Getting back to the original weight topic, it doesn't really help that I make good money these days, I own a car and that stores plentiful and close by.

So what I'm getting at, is that I just finished off an entire bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Oh, BTW, that reminds me of a coworker who once messaged me that he was going to get some "MANDMs"... I had no fuckin' idea what he was talking about.. until I realize he meant M&Ms. 

Dumbass.

Well, WTF the "pepper" reference then, Mr. Dipshit blogger?

 I suppose,  it wasn't necessarily the need for a "Dr. Poo", but rather a reference that each of us is an addict of some sort.

For some of you it's alcohol, tobacco, drugs, pornography, soda, sugar/candy and food.

Now for me... I know that I have addict genes, and my siblings have proved this.

One of them, pretty much the one dumbass mother fucker, has such a bad addictive nature, he is addicted to pretty much everything. (Porn, tobacco, alcohol, prescription pain pills, beating off, etc. etc. etc.)

So, this proves that you can very addictive, without much choice....

HOWEVER!

This isn't really true.

We all have the ability to choose how we react to things.

For me, I use my prescription medications according to how they're labeled.

The exception to that, is when I might break them up when I have REALLY bad pain and I need relief immediately!

I stay away from alcohol, because the last time I had a drink, (basically a double tequila) I craved alcohol for several weeks, before the desire stopped.

Due to all the asshole prescription pain med. abusers out there, doctors and health insurance companies are doing surveys about people before they prescribe any meds.

Where this hurts, is that if you're bipolar, you have a major mark against you.  If you have siblings who are addicts/alcoholics/etc, that's another mark against you.

I suppose what I really want to hammer home on this post... or perhaps not...

Is that I have an addiction to...
FOOD!

There I said it!

Ok.. mostly to food that's not good in large quantities.

Long time ago, I posted how much I love ice cream!  I still buy it by the gallon, but much less often.  Perhaps once a month, month and a half.


When my bipolar and emotions are under better control, then my eating habits are under better control too.

So my weight yo-yo's +/- 5 pounds week to week.

At least my weight is down from 330 a few years ago!