Perhaps I'm unsecure?

I've had problems trusting loved ones since my ex-wife really screwed me up.

She lied and hid a LOT of things, which messed up my trust.

One of the worst things she ever did was to have me walk to the grocery store.

On the way back, I saw a taxi driving down the road and the passenger in the back duck down as soon as I saw it.  (It must've been the bitch.)

When I returned to the apartment, she and Giant Miss were gone.
 
Given that I deal with emotional problems heavier these days than I did back then. (Thank you bipolar disorder)

This year is my 15th year of being married to Ellie.

Ellie cornered/bullied me into buying her a $100 opal ring while we were getting our wedding rings inspected and cleaned at the jeweler's.  (The inspection and cleaning is part of a nice warranty we purchased with the rings and they guaranty to replace the diamonds if one were to come out.)

Now, I looked all over for something that I would remember our 15th anniversary and found nothing that impressed me. (Jewelry, books, curios, radios, tools, tackle boxes for electronic parts, etc.)

The next week, we went out to the coast and I continued on my search.

In the first shops we went in, I purchased a large wooden frog.

She said that the frog was part of the anniversary present...

WTF!?

I was going to buy it even if I had my present already.

Then several days ago I told her I think I finally found an anniversary present for myself.

She told me to just buy it because she was tired of hearing about it... WTF!?

I couldn't believe she discounted everything like the anniversary was nothing.

When she went to work, I was pissed off.  So I went on Amazon and started looking at things on my wish lists.

I almost bought another RC helicopter, but decided I didn't want one for such a milestone.

Then I thought, why not another radio or tools?

Nah, still not a good present.

Finally, I decided to go back and look at fountain pens because when I write stories, poetry, etc, I typically write on paper rather than type it on the computer.

I found some nice pens, ink and cartridge replacements that don't require disposable cartridges.

These I ordered and it cost me around $60+.

Now I just need to wait for everything to get here.

Going back to insecurity, I have been feeling like our marriage was going to fall apart because of this "little" incident.

It also feels like it's because I don't always have a desire to cuddle up and have "intellectual discussions" with Ellie as much as she'd like.

This latter problem is because we don't take time to just be with each other.  We stay up too late.  She or I often just fall to sleep pretty quickly when we retire to the bedroom.

Last night we had an "intellectual discussion" and today things feel better.